February 1, 2006
Wedding Budgets: Not A Laughing Matter
This past couple of weeks have been hectic and filled with wedding preparations. We've been working on the cake, the menu, the formalwear, the reception stuff, and the invitations. We even turned our Christmas letter into a "save the date" message. See how clever and frugal we are? Saved on postage there! So when the local newspaper, the Good Times, had their wedding issue, I was, for the first time, interested. And what I read made me even MORE frustrated and disgusted! For God's sake, people, it's just a bloody party!
So, if you’re one of the ones who do know the difference and suddenly find yourself on the brink of “I Do,” do yourself a big favor: Breathe—a lot. Then absorb this: The average cost of a Santa Cruz County wedding costs as much as $36,000. That’s $8,000 more than the cost of the average California wedding ($28,800).
More at: Good Times: Wedding Issue
Unbelievable. I was thinking that the national average for weddings, some $26,800.00 according to www.costofwedding.com, was bad enough! Of course then I typed in the Santa Cruz zipcode, just to check, and guess what, I bet they got the statistic from the same source! You know that website was being passed around via email and some Good Times reporter decided to write the story on it.
So just for fun, I typed in my parents zip code of 05055 in Norwich, Vermont, figuring it would be cheaper in the boonies, right? HAH! The average cost of a wedding in beautiful Norwich, Vermont, population 3,587 is $41,808.00. Oh, and this does not include cost for a honeymoon, engagement ring, bridal consultant or wedding planner. Add that in and cost could reach $55,433.00.
So while I know we are coming in under budget on almost all the specifics, here's where we're at:
Wedding Attire
The basics are done, but of course we fret over the more complex things like undergarments for the bride and matching ties for the groom, not to mention the alterations we will want to be doing closer to the big day. I found my dress about two months ago. It's green and I love it. Then, in a weird bit of irony, Shane ended up with a vintage signed custom-tailored three piece tuxedo made in 1930. We were home at my parents' house in Vermont and Shane came with my friend and I shopping in Woodstock, VT. We went to the vintage clothing store called Who's Sylvia, expecting to find some nice dress for Kate, and instead Shane is the only one who comes out with a purchase (who would have thought, when he wears only polos and tshirts from our various tech companies or from conferences we've caught them at, and buys all his other clothing at Costco in bulk - Dockers & Cushy athletic socks, woo!) As for the rest of the attire, Shane will get a haircut three weeks in advance, and I'm still trying to determine my hair stuff.
Wedding Ceremony
So we're kinda working on vows, but not very seriously yet. Who's going to marry us? Well, Shane's step-father is a ship captain but we haven't asked him yet. I dunno what exactly we're doing with this, but since the civil stuff is all sorted out, this is ok. As for location, we're doing Artists' Point in Mount Diablo State Park, so all it costs is the entrance fee - like $5 a car or something. The ceremony decorations are minimal - natural mostly, and any flowers will also make an appearance at the reception anyway.
Wedding Favors & Gifts
Been looking at this stuff, for favors we've got a couple contenders, as well as for wedding party stuff. Luckily, our wedding party is quite small and they read here so I'm not going to say much about this. Is it also typical to give mother and father gifts? I was thinking of taking my mother to a spa with me for a massage earlier in the week, and I'm going to try to bribe one of the Tacqueria Vallarta fellows for his shirt, which my dad has been trying to purchase for the past ten years. As for brides and groom's gifts to each other, I have NO idea what to get Shane. I suppose what he'd really like is a baby, so maybe I can get away with a cleverly worded IOU?
Wedding Flowers
Well, our colors are orange and green, so we've been looking into flowers that will bloom in late June and early June to plant in Shane's grandma's garden. Of course, this is also impacting what our wedding cake looks like. I need to find some decent florists in the Concord area. I know I don't want to mention the word wedding, since it seems to make the ticket price inflate 10x over!
Wedding Jewelry
Rings are an open issue. So many jewelers in the family, and we're dragging our feet bigtime right now. We did go scouting for our likes and dislikes a couple of weekends ago, but this is all totally unresolved right now. I'm trying to decide how to do my hair and if I need some kinda of hair thingie - this is very exciting, I know.
Wedding Music
Can you say iPod playlist? This is Shane's department, he's going to wire grandma's house for mood music. He's also in charge of bribing our teenage siblings and cousins into big-day wedding labor.
Wedding Photography & Video
We've got the equipment and are inviting a lot of photographers as guests but we need to deligate a bit here, plus a couple planned dry runs and some timed tripod stuff and lots of cheap disposables around for people to take candids. I want to make sure we have a couple of good posed pictures (making a photo schedule so we don't miss anything) but I think we're actually not going to hire anyone.
Wedding Reception
So as I said, this is Shane's grandma's house. We've planned to go up every 3 weeks or so between now and the big day. To plan, to garden, to clean, to prep. We'v got the layout sorted, and we're talking about planting summer bulbs and bushes. Parking will be amusing, but not terrible. Luckily, she's centrally located between a BART station, a Trader Joes, a BevMo and a Costco. Our signature drink will be either a mojito or Amarula on ice. Still deciding. Maybe both. The cake was supposed to be so easy, but then we had to actually go in to get the tasting reservation. Now we have choices, damn them!
Wedding Stationery
If it were up to Shane, well.. that's kind of amusing in and to itself. When we first started talking about wedding budgets about three years ago, Shane said something like "Well, you don't want a dress or anything, do you?" And he was perfectly serious. I was like "Heh, honey. Yes I want a dress, I just don't want a white one." So now, years later, his outfit is definately costing more than mine. I found it amusing to note that my EXACT dress, by the EXACT same designer, was a significantly different price when the color chosen was WHITE. So invitations. I cannot see myself spending hundreds of dollars on a bloody piece of paper. So yah, we're going to go somewhat boho and print our own, but I'm finding that this is not necessarily cheaper than Costco Bulk Wedding invites... Finding orange and green wedding invites is nigh on impossible. Grr. And I bloody need them soon! One thing I have decided is that we will make ourselves custom postage stamps, but I kind of want to know the card style before I choose some photography for it.
Wedding Transportation
I thought I was being quite gracious when I asked Shane if he wanted a rented vehicle like either a Dodge Viper or a Stretch Hummer. He used to want to do this, him being the guy that was trying to decide if he wanted to buy a home in Santa Cruz or a Lotus sportscar (glad he decided to be smart way back then). Now his answer was : only if it has a built in hot tub. I don't think the Californian Highway Commission allows that. Sounds like something that would only work in Texas. and maybe Vegas. We'll be driving our own cars. Although maybe I should rent a horse-drawn carriage to do trips around the block, Shane's grandma loves horses... but then I can just see it in the bloody 95 degree weather in Concord in July, with the horses dying.
And the rest?
Don't even get me started on our African honeymoon...
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December 2, 2005
Snagged The Wedding Dress
Occassionally I try something on and things just click, and I know it's perfect for me.
Then I go home and show Shane, and sometimes they don't quite click anymore, but sometimes they do. Lucky for me, this happened on Friday when I was trying on potential wedding dresses. I wasn't particularly relishing the experience and so I had been putting things off, but as the date gets closer and people bug me about what is and isn't done yet, I have felt the pressure to do SOMETHING.
So I tried three dresses on (yes, total) All were various degrees of green, since I had decided on either a green or a copper colored gown (I refused to wear white at my graduation, why should I start now?). The third one was the charm. I called Shane on the cell and he said I should bring it home for inspection. Well, it passed and I've called my mother and so now I can post it here for all and sundry!
It's an A-line gown with a looped bodice band and looped wrap waist. The first two purple dresses are the actual style I decided on, but there are no green versions online so I have added the third picture so you can see what color I've chosen.
The Style
The Color
The Stats:
Designer: Jessica McClintock
Silhouette: A-line
Sleeve Length: Strapless
Neckline: Square
Waistline: Dropped
Hemline: Floor length
Color: Green
Fabric: Satin-Finished Silk (Charmeuse)
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May 20, 2005
Chocolate Fountains: A Catering Necessity
Shane and I have been discussing the catering of our wedding reception. So far, we have made several decisions. Decisions are great! Finally, decisions!
The Cake
We've decided that the cake will be catered by a Santa Cruz bakery called The Buttery. This was also the bakery used in Shane's father's wedding, and so you could almost call this a new Conder tradition. We haven't yet decided on the filling(s) but it will likely be decorated in the wedding colors of orange and green. I'm currently leaning towards Italian Rum as at least one of the fillings, although we may also include the hazelnut buttercream as one of the tiers. Note the only decision made is which bakery. I am hoping we can go samples some of the fillings before we make our final decisions on content.
The Food
So we've decided that the reception will be a rather informal affair food-wise. We will be having some dishes catered, and others we will be doing ourselves. We have decided to serve "our favorites". It will not be an elegant well-assembled combination of flavors for palate pleasure. Instead it will be more of a choose-your-own-adventure.
Shane and I have already selected the dishes we wish to serve, but we don't want to give away anything, so I'm not going to tell you any of the details here really. I will say, though, it will not include any foods we dislike - for example, shockingly, "a mess of eggs" will not be appearing on the menu. Also, Dad, there is a grange in Norwich, Vermont.
Where's The Chocolate?
When Shane and I attended a conference last year, they had this really cool catering job with chocolate fountains. Basically, you serve lots of chocolate-dippables like strawberries and rice crispie treats and pretzels and such, and you rent yourself a chocolate fountain. It looks like a champagne fountain from a classic film, only it oozes chocolately goodness instead. The lucky attendees use fondue forks to spear the goodies and then swipe them under the river of chocolate. Shane insists on having one, and I heartily agree. When are we going to have another opportunity to justify such decadence? Thus we will likely be using San Jose Chocolate Fountains to help cater dessert!
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May 19, 2005
Where Are You Registered?
Boy, oh boy! It's time for the wedding registry! I have to say, this concept was initially disturbing to Shane and I, but we are warming up to it. *laugh* We want to do something different (shocking, I know) so we want to offer our family and friends several options... traditional registries and a different spin - giving us memories. Here's our list:
- Our Wedding Registry at REI
- Our Wedding Registry at Amazon.com
- Sign Us Up for Bonny Doon Vineyard's DEWN Wine Club
- Sign Us Up for Ridge Vineyard's Z-LIST or ATP Wine Club
- Help Us With Our Honeymoon Memories - See Below!
So what do we mean by help us with our honeymoon memories? Well, we got to thinking. We have been living together in our house in Santa Cruz for more than five years, and frankly, we don't need the stuff that traditional couples need when they start out in married life. We have all the linens we could need, and every kitchen utility imaginable.
So we started thinking about alternative things we could say when our close friends and family demanded to know what we wanted for our wedding. What we came up with was to make a list of specific activities we planned for on our honeymoon that people could help "sponsor". So Shane is working on the ability to donate ($10, $50, $100, whatever) to specific activities using Paypal online payment. In return, we'll send you postcards and post photos from our journey in thanks for helping us realize some of our travel dreams!
Some examples would be helping sponsor:
- A Gorilla Trek in Bwindi National Park, Uganda
- A Scuba Dive off Zanzibar's Coral Reefs
- A Camel Ride in the Egyptian Desert
- A Night Game Drive on Safari in the Serengeti
- An Authentic Egyptian Dinner in Cairo or Thebes
Anyway, more on this later when Shane finishes implementing the Paypal side of things!
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May 15, 2005
Wedding Wine
So we went wine tasting at one of our two favorite vineyards - Ridge Vineyards.
We've decided on a rather sweet red wine for our wedding. We've narrowed it down to:
- 2003 Dusi Ranch (100% zinfandel)
- 2001 York Creek (78% zinfandel, 20% petite sirah, 2% carignane)
Both are very good and I'm thinking that the York Creek is the better of the two - the late picks tend to be less complex than their other varietals, but the York Creek is subtle but enjoyable for most people. We don't want to alienate people by chosing too "weird" of a wine for our wedding reception, but at the same time we want something we really like, something with character. We tasted the Dusi up at the Monte Bello Vineyard, and it was quite good, but we've had the York Creek Late Picked before and really liked it. So we've bought a bottle of each to crack open, taste and make our final decision.
That said, both are worth a try, if you ever have the chance!
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