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March 9, 2006

Fewer Swans Aswimming...

When I was little, we lived in Zürich, Switzerland, while my father completed his postdoctorate work. It is there that most of my earliest memories originate. [Warning, musings ahead]

On cold, snowy days in winter, my mother would drag me to the market on a sled and then on the way home, the sled would be piled high with me and the groceries. When we went to pay the rent, the landlord, a rather odd fellow, would always give me a chocolate bar from his freezer chest and pinch my cheek. I ate countless pears off the tree in the back yard without washing them and played naked in the summer under hoses and on the Alpine mountainsides without fear or censure. One of the first things I learned to speak in Swiss-German was how to call for "More Beer" when we would eat out (the beer wenches always thought I was precious) and there are several pictures of me as a toddler, grinning and drooling into an empty beer bottle. In an effort to be frugal, my mother baked and decorated dozens of sugar cookies for our otherwise ornament-less Christmas tree, only to have to do the same again the next day after my father and I had pilfered them off the tree and spoiled our appetites. Later, she would make beautifully decorated homemade chocolate lollipops for Halloween, enough for every trick-or-treater who might come to the door.

Now you better not be getting horrified at this point. I am sharing these HAPPY memories with you to illustrate how things have changed in the 25 years since these events occured. Now I think about how today's kids won't have some of these memories. Well, if they do, their parents might be accused of terrible parenting or end up in jail. Oh, sure, they'll have different memories I never could have had. Hell, my kids will probably have memories of mommy and daddy helping them get past Level 3 on Final Fantasy XVIII. Already our friend's read the text for their kid's GameBoy games for them. I am a bit saddened by the loss of those simple pleasures I grew up with. Will my kids suffer from the lack of them?

It seems as if several factors are converging at once but fear, backed ironically by science, seems to be the main culprit. It all comes down to the dreaded statistics - we hear about every single bad thing on the news every night. The odds are frightening to the point of causing parental paralysis. It's better to keep your kids indoors playing on the Playstation than, heaven forbid, let them outside and out of your sight - they might pick up some germ or get kidnapped or worse. You can Trust No One. Kids don't play naked at the beach anymore for fear of catching the eye of a child molester; you wouldn't dare let your child have a sip of beer for it might stunt their growth or promote future alcoholism. Baking cookies from scratch costs five times more than the ones bought in stores and I won't even start on trick-or-treating. That dying tradition has all the kids in our neighborhood going to the mall on Halloween. It's just f***'n weird.

Back when I was a kid, which really wasn't THAT long ago, these things were relatively harmless. That's not to say that bad things didn't happen - they did. But still, the majority of us turned out ok, except now we're the neurotic parents. It makes me want to know, what are today's simple pleasures? What are tomorrow's?

Today I was listening to a Slate Explainer podcast entitled "Why Are Swans Dropping Like Flies?" about why H5N1 (Avian flu) is killing the swans all over Europe. It reminded me of one of my earliest memories in Zürich. Whenever we would have pancakes for breakfast (it was my favorite, of course, especially when my mother would make Mickey Mouse shaped ones), my mother would make extra pancakes. Later, she and I would walk down to feed them to the swans. Not that the swans really deserved it. They were mean and nasty, always trying to bite us, but they were very pretty and I enjoyed throwing pancakes at them.

Nowadays, I'm always seeing the signs not to feed the birds. I've seen a gull land on a kid's head and gobble up their ice cream cone next to one such sign. It was actually quite traumatic, except the bird. It's pretty clear that feeding birds can often be bad for the for all involved, the birds suffer from eating human foods, it causes unsanitary conditions, blah blah, and now, with bird flu, many parents are downright afraid to allow their children near a bird. Well, at least, if it still looks like a bird - I haven't heard of Happy Meal sales dropping, although after that horrible cartoon in Super Size Me, I haven't been able to make myself eat a McNugget since (I was happier not knowing, you know).

I read a book once about how a genetically-engineered tomato got a disease which virtually wiped out the human race. The survivors were deathly afraid of tomatoes, even at a distance. Even though the disease was long-gone and no one was at risk, people would freak out when one of the red fruits showed up anywhere in their vicinity. The bird flu panic reminds me of this. And so many of our holidays and traditions have bird-themes - from New Year's peace doves to Easter eggs, barbeque on the 4th of July, then Thanksgiving turkey to Christmas goose. Talk about a poultry-industry nightmare. And don't forget that Thursday is inevitably Chicken Nugget day at the school cafeteria (Friday is always Pizza day). It seems weird to me that people would not feed the swans, but they don't really have too many concerns with the fact that your average school cafeteria serves lower-grade meat than most people can buy at the local supermarket.

I guess I feel like people spend so much time worrying, but aren't willing to spend more time just being cautious. And by this, I mean active caution. If you're worried about bird flu, read up on the details, cook your food properly and wash your hands. If you don't feel comfortable letting your kid outside alone, go with them. How many of these problems would be solved if people spent more time getting out their with their children? Despite the fact that we live in a society that allows us the freedom of mobility and communication, fewer and fewer of us know our own neighbors. We have all become strangers. Perhaps that's the real problem, because when things do go wrong - whether it comes in the form of a hurt child or a flu pandemic - you're less likely to get a helping hand from a stranger than you are from a friend.

Posted by sorsha at March 9, 2006 2:54 PM