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February 1, 2006

Wedding Budgets: Not A Laughing Matter

This past couple of weeks have been hectic and filled with wedding preparations. We've been working on the cake, the menu, the formalwear, the reception stuff, and the invitations. We even turned our Christmas letter into a "save the date" message. See how clever and frugal we are? Saved on postage there! So when the local newspaper, the Good Times, had their wedding issue, I was, for the first time, interested. And what I read made me even MORE frustrated and disgusted! For God's sake, people, it's just a bloody party!

So, if you’re one of the ones who do know the difference and suddenly find yourself on the brink of “I Do,” do yourself a big favor: Breathe—a lot. Then absorb this: The average cost of a Santa Cruz County wedding costs as much as $36,000. That’s $8,000 more than the cost of the average California wedding ($28,800).

More at: Good Times: Wedding Issue

Unbelievable. I was thinking that the national average for weddings, some $26,800.00 according to www.costofwedding.com, was bad enough! Of course then I typed in the Santa Cruz zipcode, just to check, and guess what, I bet they got the statistic from the same source! You know that website was being passed around via email and some Good Times reporter decided to write the story on it.

So just for fun, I typed in my parents zip code of 05055 in Norwich, Vermont, figuring it would be cheaper in the boonies, right? HAH! The average cost of a wedding in beautiful Norwich, Vermont, population 3,587 is $41,808.00. Oh, and this does not include cost for a honeymoon, engagement ring, bridal consultant or wedding planner. Add that in and cost could reach $55,433.00.

So while I know we are coming in under budget on almost all the specifics, here's where we're at:

Wedding Attire
The basics are done, but of course we fret over the more complex things like undergarments for the bride and matching ties for the groom, not to mention the alterations we will want to be doing closer to the big day. I found my dress about two months ago. It's green and I love it. Then, in a weird bit of irony, Shane ended up with a vintage signed custom-tailored three piece tuxedo made in 1930. We were home at my parents' house in Vermont and Shane came with my friend and I shopping in Woodstock, VT. We went to the vintage clothing store called Who's Sylvia, expecting to find some nice dress for Kate, and instead Shane is the only one who comes out with a purchase (who would have thought, when he wears only polos and tshirts from our various tech companies or from conferences we've caught them at, and buys all his other clothing at Costco in bulk - Dockers & Cushy athletic socks, woo!) As for the rest of the attire, Shane will get a haircut three weeks in advance, and I'm still trying to determine my hair stuff.

Wedding Ceremony
So we're kinda working on vows, but not very seriously yet. Who's going to marry us? Well, Shane's step-father is a ship captain but we haven't asked him yet. I dunno what exactly we're doing with this, but since the civil stuff is all sorted out, this is ok. As for location, we're doing Artists' Point in Mount Diablo State Park, so all it costs is the entrance fee - like $5 a car or something. The ceremony decorations are minimal - natural mostly, and any flowers will also make an appearance at the reception anyway.

Wedding Favors & Gifts
Been looking at this stuff, for favors we've got a couple contenders, as well as for wedding party stuff. Luckily, our wedding party is quite small and they read here so I'm not going to say much about this. Is it also typical to give mother and father gifts? I was thinking of taking my mother to a spa with me for a massage earlier in the week, and I'm going to try to bribe one of the Tacqueria Vallarta fellows for his shirt, which my dad has been trying to purchase for the past ten years. As for brides and groom's gifts to each other, I have NO idea what to get Shane. I suppose what he'd really like is a baby, so maybe I can get away with a cleverly worded IOU?

Wedding Flowers
Well, our colors are orange and green, so we've been looking into flowers that will bloom in late June and early June to plant in Shane's grandma's garden. Of course, this is also impacting what our wedding cake looks like. I need to find some decent florists in the Concord area. I know I don't want to mention the word wedding, since it seems to make the ticket price inflate 10x over!

Wedding Jewelry
Rings are an open issue. So many jewelers in the family, and we're dragging our feet bigtime right now. We did go scouting for our likes and dislikes a couple of weekends ago, but this is all totally unresolved right now. I'm trying to decide how to do my hair and if I need some kinda of hair thingie - this is very exciting, I know.

Wedding Music
Can you say iPod playlist? This is Shane's department, he's going to wire grandma's house for mood music. He's also in charge of bribing our teenage siblings and cousins into big-day wedding labor.

Wedding Photography & Video
We've got the equipment and are inviting a lot of photographers as guests but we need to deligate a bit here, plus a couple planned dry runs and some timed tripod stuff and lots of cheap disposables around for people to take candids. I want to make sure we have a couple of good posed pictures (making a photo schedule so we don't miss anything) but I think we're actually not going to hire anyone.

Wedding Reception
So as I said, this is Shane's grandma's house. We've planned to go up every 3 weeks or so between now and the big day. To plan, to garden, to clean, to prep. We'v got the layout sorted, and we're talking about planting summer bulbs and bushes. Parking will be amusing, but not terrible. Luckily, she's centrally located between a BART station, a Trader Joes, a BevMo and a Costco. Our signature drink will be either a mojito or Amarula on ice. Still deciding. Maybe both. The cake was supposed to be so easy, but then we had to actually go in to get the tasting reservation. Now we have choices, damn them!

Wedding Stationery
If it were up to Shane, well.. that's kind of amusing in and to itself. When we first started talking about wedding budgets about three years ago, Shane said something like "Well, you don't want a dress or anything, do you?" And he was perfectly serious. I was like "Heh, honey. Yes I want a dress, I just don't want a white one." So now, years later, his outfit is definately costing more than mine. I found it amusing to note that my EXACT dress, by the EXACT same designer, was a significantly different price when the color chosen was WHITE. So invitations. I cannot see myself spending hundreds of dollars on a bloody piece of paper. So yah, we're going to go somewhat boho and print our own, but I'm finding that this is not necessarily cheaper than Costco Bulk Wedding invites... Finding orange and green wedding invites is nigh on impossible. Grr. And I bloody need them soon! One thing I have decided is that we will make ourselves custom postage stamps, but I kind of want to know the card style before I choose some photography for it.

Wedding Transportation
I thought I was being quite gracious when I asked Shane if he wanted a rented vehicle like either a Dodge Viper or a Stretch Hummer. He used to want to do this, him being the guy that was trying to decide if he wanted to buy a home in Santa Cruz or a Lotus sportscar (glad he decided to be smart way back then). Now his answer was : only if it has a built in hot tub. I don't think the Californian Highway Commission allows that. Sounds like something that would only work in Texas. and maybe Vegas. We'll be driving our own cars. Although maybe I should rent a horse-drawn carriage to do trips around the block, Shane's grandma loves horses... but then I can just see it in the bloody 95 degree weather in Concord in July, with the horses dying.

And the rest?
Don't even get me started on our African honeymoon...

Posted by sorsha at February 1, 2006 2:01 PM